I moved back to North Carolina about 4 years ago after living in Florida for many years and it didn’t take me long to realize some things had changed since I was gone. One of the most obvious was that a really significant percentage of men are driving around in the newest, biggest, tallest, most obnoxious pickup trucks available. Pickups have always been popular in NC, but this was a new variation on that theme. It had been “turned up to 11” as they say. Why on earth do they have to be so tall? Are these guys using them in rock quarries? I know that’s not what’s happening because the trucks are so clean they look like they just came off the dealer lot. And the guys (and women) driving them are obviously not construction workers. Their hair is too nice. Their complexions too smooth. Their teeth (ugh I hate their teeth), too white and perfect. I believe a lot of them are posers to be honest.
But no one cares anymore. There are too many of them. They’re everywhere. It’s just the “thing to do” in my neck of the woods. I think some folks may be envious of them. Not me buddy. Success to me is giving as few of my dollars to the auto dealers as possible. Well, as few as is reasonable anyway. I do like the leather seats in my Outback. (But my 2006 Tacoma has cloth seats, crank window handles and push button door locks, so I keep it real every day.)
Well, live and let live. Freedom, right? Sure, if these folks want to drive something the size of a dump truck that could tow a Boeing 747 it’s no skin off my nose. Except when I park somewhere and come out to find one or two of these behemoths beside me. I might as well have parked inside a cave. I can’t see anything! So, I back out an inch at a time and hope that, if someone is coming, they’ll recognize my predicament and be patient enough to let me out. Thankfully, that is usually the case. Folks aren’t quite as friendly as they used to be here in the South, but there are still a lot of compassionate folks around. Of course, they may just want my parking spot, but I prefer to believe in their good nature.
However over the last year or so, I have noticed a significant shift going on with the “Big Pickup Crowd”. Enormous trucks aren’t quite the serious flex they used to be. There is a new game in town. You still need to drive a pickup, but a smaller pickup with some age on it seems to be fine. But the flex is, you now have to be hauling a utility trailer behind you. And the trailer has to have certain, very specific characteristics. It can’t be new for one thing. The more beat up it looks the better. I bet the price of beat up trailers has gone through the roof around here. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out someone has started a business in the area that will custom trash your trailer for a reasonable price.
Also, the trailer you’re pulling cannot be empty. An empty trailer is a sure sign of a poser. No, the trailer has to be staged so it looks like the owner does real work. I doubt he or she does in many cases, but that doesn’t matter, it’s the look that counts. The preferred trailer accessories are lawn mowers at least 20 years old, wood (boards or tree limbs will do), rusty chainsaws or, if you’re really trying to impress, nothing beats something like an old water heater secured with ratchet straps.
Now I don’t fall for trends and this one is no exception. As I mentioned, I have an older, smaller pickup truck but I’m not going to haul around a utility trailer with a bunch of junk in it just to impress people. It’s ridiculous. I shake my head and chuckle when I see these fakers pulling an old trailer while wearing a clean, pressed, tucked-in, button down, long sleeve shirt. Who do they think they’re fooling? I’m smiling now just thinking about it. No, I am secure enough in myself that I don’t follow the crowd and I couldn’t care less what people think of me. The fact that I would rather have major surgery than tow a trailer has nothing to do with it.